Feeling Good

So, since the last time I’ve posted, so much yet so little has changed. I am feeling pretty good about some things and wanted to update/let it out.

Since October/November of last year I have been working quite a bit of overtime. Sometimes upwards of 5 extra shifts a week. We’ve had a shortage of nursing staff, RNs in particular, since December of 2021 on the unit I work on.

It was barely manageable then and at times unmanageable where vacations were being cancelled, days off being denied and an almost daily occurrence of working shorthanded. And, in more recent times we have been in and out of overcapacity so frequently in the hospital and we’ve required augments for staff to be able to manage the increased amount of patients and workload. With all of that, we’ve been getting an increase in more acute status patients to our unit, which is supposed to be more of a stable/subacute area. And compounding that by the fact that the last time a nurse educator was on the unit was almost 2 years ago, we have been lacking so much needed support.

I don’t want to linger on the tough stuff too much longer as I have titled this about feeling good. Currently, we’ve gotten more staff in the more recent months. This has led to me feeling able to not have/need to work so much. The paychecks have been great but, it has definitely taken its toll on me.

Over the last year my weight has gone up from 135lbs to 155 and for a short time 160lbs. My eating habits have gotten pretty poor, having sweets like chocolate or pop daily, even multiple times a day, and ordering out weekly or more. But, we’ve been making changes in the household to get ourselves back on track.

In the last 2-3 months we decided to try out Hello Fresh and we’ve stuck with it. I have been carrying the burden of paying for it, and with all honesty, it hasn’t been that bad, about $100 per week. I know that can sound expensive to some as it is only for 3 complete meals that serve 2 people. This has helped save my partner a decent amount of money each month. And, with the amount I have been working, it barely cuts into the pay from the extra shifts. They are relatively healthy meals and a good variety with a major change up from what we have had in the past. We would always default to the same 6 meals or so and have leftovers for 3-4 days.

We’ve also experimented with smaller things to try for my lunches both at home and work. I currently take a small 3x6x1inch container stuffed with meat (typically ham or chicken) and cheese (my favorite being havarti) and sometimes I’ll bring along some hard boiled eggs. It’s light enough for me to feel full yet not weighed down or tired later.

Then, I have made some goals for myself spurred on by some of my wonderful coworkers. There were some of my coworkers trying to organize a group for an annual run that is held in my town. I decided this would be the motivator to get my butt back into shape, as much of my adult life I had been around 125-130lbs and pretty active. After wasting time and making excuses for myself and letting it get to 2 weeks before the run was scheduled for, I got myself a gym membership and then quickly signed up with a personal trainer. I knew this was not going to make a difference in my performance at the run, but it would be the starting point. I would see how crappy I would feel during and after the run and remember how it was when I was in better shape, reply put it into perspective how I have let myself go.

The run was tough. It was a total distance of 6 kilometers. I was hoping my time would be around the 35-40 minute range. Unfortunately, it was more like 45 minutes for my final time. And, I was behind the people I had joined the run with. My self-esteem was pretty low afterwards but, I was motivated to change and my goal is to have a better time for next year’s run.

On the personal training end of things, I have been seeing her about 3x per week since the end of March and I am seeing changes. One of the first days at the gym with her, I could see the excess weight I have been carrying especially with all the mirrors in the gym. My arms started to tone up and all the weights are getting heavier. My goals we set at the start was to tone up/slim down with a focus on butt and thighs. I have, as long as I can remember, had a decent butt. Back when I ran track in school, I thought it was pretty nice. I wanted my nice toned booty back and I am working on it. Trying to get that “muscle butt” as my trainer would say. I can see and feel the differences between my left and right side, there is a noticeable difference or lack of strength on my non-dominant side and we’ve been attempting to catch the weak side up. My upper back is feeling strong and we’ve been working on strengthening my lower back slowly as I have had a major injury there almost a year ago. I am learning lots and loving the knowledge my trainer has as well as the results I have been getting.

Gyms have always intimidated me. I have always been afraid of being in someone’s way or looking lost as if I don’t know what I am doing and inconveniencing those around me or taking up too much time on a particular machine. I know I’ve got a long way to go with knowing how all the machines work or what kind of workout can be done with what equipment but I am feeling more confident.

Today was a whole new level of feeling good. I have graduated from kettle bell weighted deadlifts, which I had absolutely horrible form to start, and today I was doing deadlifts like you would normally picture them, with the bar and plates. I have always liked the feeling of the soreness I feel throughout my body after any form of workout. I am now getting that swollen muscle feeling especially when doing the upper body work and I have come to enjoy that too. I am excited to see how my body will continue to change.